I Ate A Store-Bought Pie, Now I’m Pregnant

The sun had just dipped below the horizon, casting a warm yellowish-orange glow over the aisles of the grocery store as I walked through in search of something to soothe my sweet tooth. When I coiled around the corner to find the bakery, a display of pies stacked on a table caught my eye. The scent of freshly baked pie crust and sweet berries wafted through the air, and my tongue flicked out in anticipation. There it was, a heavenly vision of strawberries nestled in a fluffy cloud of cream. My absolute favorite.

I like to hold my items in my tail sometimes, so I wrapped my tail around the box, the coolness of the plastic box a stark contrast to the warmth of my scales. Must be some kind of snake instinct. The price was a bit steep for my taste, but the way my stomach growled made me know that resistance was futile. I paid for the pie with a slick swipe of my credit card and walked out of the store, eager to indulge in the sugary delight waiting for me back at home.

Once I was back in the comfort of my own home, I opened the box with excitement. The aroma was intoxicating, filling my senses with a symphony of sweetness. The crust was a flaky perfection, and the strawberries were ripe and juicy, kissing my tastebuds with every bite. I couldn’t help myself, I ate that entire pie in one sitting. My stomach felt content, the warmth of the pie spreading through me like a comforting blanket.

As I laid back to bask in the afterglow of my indulgence, I noticed something peculiar. A tingling sensation in my belly, like a swarm of bees decided to make it their new hive. I chuckled to myself, thinking it was just my body working hard to digest the treat. However, as the minutes kicked by, the sensation grew stronger and stronger, and my stomach began to distend.

I'd never felt anything quite like this before. It was as if I'd swallowed a balloon that was steadily filling with… something. Panic began to set in as my clothes grew tighter around my body. I realized that it wasn’t a gas buildup at all. I was growing… expanding in a way that was utterly unnatural.

My mind raced as I tried to think of what could be causing this. Then it hit me… it was the pie. I'd heard of food going bad, of course, but never of it leading to something like this… I grabbed my phone and dialed my best friend, Victoria, a hyena with a sharp wit and an even sharper mind, thanks to her being in the medical field. She was the only one I could think to call in situations like these ones.

“Vic, you won't believe what happened!” I said into the phone with panic clearly in my tone.

“What is it, Ellie?” Victoria replied calmly. “You sound like you just saw something terrible.”

“I ate a pie from the store, and now my belly is… it's growing!” I could feel the panic rising in my voice as the words tumbled out.

“Okay, okay. Slow down,” Victoria said, her tone turning professional. “How fast is it growing, and have you felt any… other symptoms?”

“It’s huge! A-And… I swear I just felt something kick inside me!”

There was a short pause on the line. Then, Victoria spoke up again. I could hear her grabbing her car keys as she said, “I’m coming over.”

When Victoria arrived, she brought over her medical bag with her, her eyes wide with curiosity. She examined me carefully, her stethoscope pressing into my swollen belly as she listened for any kind of trouble. She was silent for moment, and then took her stethoscope off as she spoke.

“Ellie… I think you might be pregnant.”

I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Pregnant? H-How? All I did was eat a pie!”

Victoria sighed. “Well, it seems like there’s more to this pie than meets the eye. It’s likely some kind of rare, genetically modified berry. Or perhaps the crust had been made with some kind of experimental yeast. Whatever it is, your body is interpreting it as… a gestational pod of some sort.”

Her words hung in the air, and my heart was racing. Me? Pregnant? From a pie? This had to be some kind of sick joke. However, when I saw Victoria’s face, I knew that was no joke. She was already scribbling notes into her small little notepad.

Over the next few weeks, my belly grew more and more until it was so massive, I could barely move. The tingling sensation became a constant hum of life within me. Victoria assured me that the baby, or, well, babies, were healthy. Not even herself could tell what was inside me, she was just as baffled as I was. The local news picked up my story, and soon I became the talk of the town.

My once snug jeans were replaced with stretchy maternity wear that barely contained my new shape. I had to wedge pillows between myself to get comfortable at night. Even the simplest of tasks, such as reaching for the TV remote, was a difficult task.

People whispered about me when I ventured outside. Some offered congratulations, while others cast suspicious glances. Amidst the chaos and confusion, I felt a strange sense of peace. The life growing inside me was a miracle, a wonder of science that had chosen me, of everyone, to carry it.

As the months dragged on, my body grew more and more uncomfortable. However, with each kick and flutter, I grew more attached to the little beings inside me. I had no idea what they would be… snake-fruit hybrids, perhaps? But I knew I would love them no matter what.

The pie had changed me, physically and emotionally. As I continue to hold whatever is inside me, I couldn't help but wonder what other mysteries lurked on the shelves of that grocery store, waiting to be discovered by unsuspecting shoppers…

Mmmmh, the thought of that is oddly… arousing…