An extract from the ‘Stygian Tome’, reputedly an autograph account of the Avatar’s journey into the heart of the Stygian Abyss.

“It is now the third day since I descended to the levels occupied by the lizardmen. Once again, Sir Cabirus’s ambition truly overwhelms me. For these are the selfsame terrible creatures spawned by Mondain, out of pure evil and darkness, those who vexed me so greatly during my former battles in the Age of Darkness. And yet not only do they tolerate me, but they have welcomed me warmly, even providing me with safe lodgings and food. This in spite of our initial inability to communicate. And I gather from the other creatures who live in these caverns that the lizardmen treat their neighbours with kindness and respect, as any good Britannian would do, trading with them, and keeping their mutual borders secure.

“It has taken me some time, but I am now beginning to grasp some simple elements of their language. The syntax is still beyond me, but I have established a working dictionary of a few simple words and phrases. The lizardmen’s former prisoner, Murgo, has been a great help in this regard. Without his initial tutoring, my current knowledge would have taken many weeks to accrue.

“However, I still have much to learn, and my partial knowledge can still lead to embarrassment at times. This evening, as I was preparing to rest for the night, I saw through my doorway one of the green lizardman, in a state of what seemed to be great agitation. He approached one of his brown brethren, and drew him aside, right next to my lodgings. My senses heightened by this unexpected development, I could not help but overheard their whispered conversation. I understood little, but I did catch the phrase ‘thit tosa’; to my limited knowledge, this meant roughly, ‘I need you’. During the conversation, the brown lizardman had been become increasingly anxious. As this was said, the two suddenly departed in haste, deep into the caves.

“It seemed to my troubled mind that the green lizardman might have discovered an approach by bandit raiders, and was seeking the help of his brown brother to subdue them. Seeing an opportunity to further demonstrate my good intentions to this noble race, I quickly grabbed my sword and armour, and made to follow them.

“They had left hurriedly, and I had delayed, so tracking them was difficult at first. But after some time had passed, I heard what seemed to be the sounds on battle in the distance: grunts, cries, howls of pain. I rushed with all speed, prepared to take on the foe, to help these brave souls risking their lives for their countrymen.

“It was only through luck that I did not damage the very relations I was trying to build. As I sped around the final corner, I stopped suddenly in the shadows, behind a rock pillar, and saw what was really taking place. No battle was this. Or rather, it was a battle, but of a more intimate nature. The sounds I had heard were not of pain and despair, as I had first thought, but instead were borne of pleasure and delight. And even then they were continuing. Darkness obscured my hiding place, so I could not be seen. I, however, had an unparalleled view of the entire proceedings.

“The lizardmen have a much more diverse and open sexual repertoire than I have been accustomed to in Britannia. One hears rumours of such behaviours on my home plane of Earth, of course, although I myself have never seen it. In time, perhaps I will be able to hear and understand the lizardmen themselves speaking of such things. I would so love to hear their views on these matters, of their practices. Perhaps they would even allow – but no, such thoughts are not virtuous. I must preserve my humility, lest I lose an eighth.

“Still, it seems that these creatures have extremely versatile anal passageways. For my green friend extended his hand right into his brown brother, beyond even the fist. And was still able to move it, to push and retract, to thrust and twist. And his partner found an extreme delight and pleasure in this.

“I must stop writing for now, lest I become … distracted. But I feel this matter deserves further thought. I very much hope that I will be able to discover more about the practices and customs of these fine creatures.”