Buckshot Bruin: [peeking out and firing his gun] "Take that, you—" [stops mid-sentence as his gun starts laughing] "Wait, what the heck?! Did my gun just giggle?"

Gun: [mockingly] "Oh, sorry, Bucko. Did you WANT me to be boring? Pfft. I’m here to make this fun."

Buckshot Bruin: [staring at the gun] "Fun? THIS IS WAR!"

Gun: [sarcastic] "And yet, I’m still the most exciting thing about your life."

Brad: [ducking as bullets whiz past] "Don’t feel bad, Buckshot. Mine just insulted my aim!"

Brad’s Gun: [smugly] "Because it’s terrible. You couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn if it was holding a neon sign that said ‘SHOOT HERE.’"

Brad: [growling, trying to fire it again] "Oh, yeah? Watch this!" [He fires, but the gun purposely jerks, and the shot misses wildly.]

Brad’s Gun: [mocking applause] "Wow. Amazing. That tree branch really had it coming."

Buckshot Bruin: [snorting] "At least your gun isn’t FLIRTING with you! Mine just called me ‘big guy’ and asked me to hold it tighter!"

Buckshot’s Gun: [playfully] "What can I say? You’ve got strong arms. A gun’s gotta feel appreciated!"

Brad: [rolling his eyes] "Oh, great. You got the clingy one, and I got the stand-up comedian. Who designed these things?!"

Buckshot Bruin: [sarcastic] "Probably the same guy who thought giving you a personality was a good idea."

Brad: [grinning] "Funny. I’d say the same about your aim, but we’d be here all day."

Buckshot Bruin: [mock offended] "Says the guy who’s arguing with his own gun!"

Brad’s Gun: [interrupting] "Excuse me, I’m WINNING this argument, thank you very much."

Buckshot’s Gun: [laughing] "Ooooh, burn! Hey, Brad, you wanna trade? I like my guys feisty."

Brad: [deadpan] "You couldn’t PAY me to deal with yours."

Buckshot Bruin: [gesturing wildly at the chaos around them] "So what’s the plan, genius? Because I’m not dying next to a weapon that calls me ‘Snuggle Bear.’"

Buckshot’s Gun: [teasing] "Aw, don’t act like you don’t love it."

Brad: [firing at an enemy, muttering] "The plan? Survive. And then find whoever made these things and shove them into a firing range."

Brad’s Gun: [cheerful] "Can I come? I’ll give you pointers on how to actually hit something."

Buckshot Bruin: [groaning] "I swear, Brad, if we live through this, I’m going back to bows and arrows."

Brad: [dodging an explosion, smirking] "Deal. And I’m bringing a rock. At least it won’t talk back."