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"The worst part of visiting the family, aside from the family is the train ride. I hate the damned things. "Oh they are so romantic!" you say. Yeah, if you ain't traveling alone. But it's just me for 10 fucking hours in a box not designed with gals like me in mind. Thank the goddess that I am in a financial position to afford a first-class room. It's small enough, I think I would lose my marbles with anything smaller. On the bright side, they bought a complimentary tray of sushi up to me. That poor mouse! After I tipped him, I ate a piece nice an' slow-like right in front of him. He kept a poker face, but let me let you in on a secret: We swamp-folk hear very, very well. And boy, I could hear the blood just pounding in his ears. And pounding in other things. I was tempted to give him my card."

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