loona (helluva boss) directed by thebigbradwulf
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Title: A Peer-Reviewed Investigation into the Behavioral Bathing Patterns of the Apex Cherry-Blossom Wolf (Loona, 2025 Edition)

Abstract:
After decades of rigorous observation, sleepless data collection, and several cease-and-desist letters from local park authorities, I have at last documented a phenomenon so transcendental it has redefined my understanding of hydrodynamics, botany, and emotional fragility: Loona, casually taking a bath amid cherry blossoms.

Introduction:
Scholars once theorized that Loona possessed an innate resistance to serenity, existing purely on caffeine and disdain. Yet today, under the falling petals of Prunus sarcasmus, she has proven us wrong—bathing in a pond so unnecessarily picturesque it could bankrupt a romantic anime studio.

Methodology:
Equipped with nothing but a clipboard, binoculars, and crippling self-awareness, I recorded Loona’s every movement. Each splash produced measurable ripples of irony; each blossom that landed on her head filed a complaint with reality itself.

Findings:

Water temperature: precisely “just right,” according to divine decree.

Blossom density: sufficient to trigger a poetry contest.

Loona’s expression: 73 % apathy, 27 % existential superiority.

My mental state: somewhere between enlightenment and tax fraud.

Discussion:
When questioned (telepathically, for safety), Loona responded with a glare potent enough to rewrite my thesis title into “How I Learned Nothing and Loved It.” Clearly, her bath is not a cleansing ritual but a demonstration of dominance over anyone trying too hard to find meaning in it.

Conclusion:
The Loona Bath Phenomenon confirms that beauty, sarcasm, and mild contempt can coexist in liquid form. Further research funding is desperately required—preferably in the form of Ko-Fi and emotional support.

https://ko-fi.com/theeffortgenner

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